Boundaries are certainly a very interesting topic that we don’t always knowhot to handle.

My experience is that whether and how I manage to set boundaries depends on many factors. Two immediately come to mind, so let’s take a look at them.

The first question is: how do I personally relate to boundaries? Do I see boundaries as positive or negative thing? Do I like boundaries, or do I consider them restrictive?

Because if we ourselves perceive boundaries as something negative and aren’t comfortable with them, then we won’t enjoy using them, and therefore, we will avoid them.

And the second question is: do I myself have a clear idea of what I want, and how clear is it? You might think that’s a nonsensical question because, of course, you know what you want. But it might not be that simple.

Of course, there are many things that are clear. For example, when we want a child to get up for kindergarten in the morning, or to get dressed when going outside, etc.

But there are many things that aren’t so clear. We often give our children commands, but do we ourselves actually know why?

For example, the common topic of tidying comes to mind, perhaps in a child’s room. Of course, the room needs to be tidied, but how often, how much, and what exactly? And does it really bother you if it’s not perfectly clean in there, especially when the door is closed and the mess that reigns inside doesn’t intrude on our own space? What’s your true stance on it?

Both of these points could be further elaborated on, but if you answer the questions within the text, much could become cclearer.